I came out of the dream, trembling slightly, the hair on my skin raised straight up.
I rolled over and found him lying there, deep in his sleep.
He was still wearing the clothes he’d had on earlier.
If that was not a sign that everything was okay, then I didn’t know what was.
I bit down on my fingers to silence the sound that threatened to escape me at the memory of the feel of him on me and the feel of myself all over him.
Would it have been appropriate to thank him for being so sexy?
Would it be right for me to thank him for giving me these mind-blowing, earth-shattering orgasms? Was that what couples did with each other?
I was going to thank him.
I got off the bed gently, trying not to wake him and then I went to the guestroom. My legs were stiff and I was sure that there was a muscle in my left butt cheek that was pulled somehow. I stretched every which way but it would not relax.
I had a shower then, the water piping hot.
As I stood there, imagining his hands all over me, I wondered what I was holding out for. What was the point? He may not have seen me completely naked, but we were in a very intimate place that, when you thought about it, bore no distinction to the actual act of love making.
So why was I waiting?
Nothing was forever.
I could have him and own him for one day, only to have him dead the next. I would have waited for the one that I believed was the one and then God would have taken him away from me which meant that I had lain with someone who was not the one.
So many morbid dark thoughts!
Eventually, I was done with my shower and I switched out my shirt for one of his and then removed my phone from the charger before heading downstairs to get myself a glass of water.
As I walked past the sofa, I couldn’t help but stare at it.
It was here that all the magic happened.
Is that why he’d bought it? For all of this?
It didn’t matter how many times he’d done it or with whom because he was doing it with me, and I did not want anybody else anywhere near me because he was it!
In the kitchen, I paced around the room, sipping on cold water. I knew that if I sat still for too long, I would end up getting myself wet and frustrated with all the thoughts I had.
There was a lot of activity on Facebook, as was expected for the weekend and as I scrolled down, I saw that people were partying up and down the city like it was going out of style.
My inbox was full of messages from my classmates trying to reach me.
It was here that the texts came at me from voicemails to calls that hadn’t gone through.
Luke and Kay and oddly enough, Rebecca.
All of them demanded I pick up my phone.
And then I read the message – there was just one actual message from an unknown, extra-long number. These were the results to all of my exams and I knew this because I recognized the codes. After each code, was one word typed in big, bold letters : PASS.
I’d passed my first year of Nursing.
I screamed in excitement and jumped up and down, dancing around the room.
As I moved past the door, he appeared out of nowhere and I ran right into his arms. He held me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, dropping kisses all over his face as he mumbled incoherent questions.
And then I found his lips and I kissed him, long and lingering and selfish.
“What was that for?” he asked, his voice still hoarse from sleep.
“Damn, that voice!” I squealed in delight and he chuckled. “Because you’re sexy as hell.”
“Hmmm,” he said. “I am pretty sure that I haven’t changed much since last you saw me.”
I nodded my head at his words, enjoying the feel of his hands on my bottom.
“Maybe you’re sexier,” I said. “I don’t know. And also, I passed! I’m going to second year.”
His eyes lit up and it made me smile even wider.
He embraced me and I held on to him. I eventually tossed my phone so that I could hold him properly.
“We should celebrate,” he said.
I shrugged, looking at him. “I’m not one for formal celebrations, so you can set something up and if I like it then we’re a go.”
He walked us to the kitchen where he turned out the lights and carried me to where my phone lay and after I picked it up, we went back to his room, all in the dark.
“Was it part of your army training to be able to see in the dark?” I joked.
“Not see in the dark exactly, just be – more aware of our surroundings,” he said.
“I want that skill… It’s hot…” I said.
“I told you you were sexier.”
He laughed at this.
He closed the bedroom door and flipped the light switch on. He set me down on the bed and he lay down beside me. But I wanted to look at him properly and so I sat up, turning to face him, leaning against his legs as he lounged against the pillows before the bed board, his knees raised.
He looked at me and I looked at him.
“Why are you not a fan of the heat?” I asked.
He shook his head slowly, taking his eyes off of me. “Bad memories…”
I nodded my head slowly.
And then the muscle pulled again. “Ow!”
“What is it?” he asked, sitting up with obvious alarm.
“Pulled a muscle.”
I crawled off the bed before he could stop me and I paced in front of the bed to shake off the spasm.
“Was it me? Did I –”
“No, no,” I said. “I may have taken those damn stairs faster than I should have. I didn’t rest like I normally do so – OW!”
He got off the bed as I hopped on the spot.
I’d stepped on something.
I handed it to him as I attempted to rub the pain away.
“Ha,” he said. “So that’s where that went.”
He pressed a kiss to my forehead and moved to one of the closet doors along the wall.
I gasped when he opened the doors and a light came on from within.
It was a walk-in closet.
“Damn…” I whispered as I limped after him.
I was so enthralled by all the dark oak and the perfect lighting with him standing in it, that I tripped on the step that I hadn’t even realized was there.
“Dammit, Dilia,” he snapped, clearly displeased.
But I still wasn’t listening.
There was a floor-to-ceiling mirror that ran the whole length of the wall to my right.
Dom stood not far from where I was braised on my hands and knees on the cold, polished, marble floor. I looked up at him but I couldn’t make out the expression on his face, which was blacked out by the bright light above him.
I didn’t understand what was passing between us in that moment – I didn’t know what it was he saw as he looked down at me. His reflection showed me something that made a cold shiver steal up my spine. He moved toward me and let out his hand and after some hesitation, I took it. He pulled me to my feet and I stumbled to get my balance.
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly.
I nodded my head slowly, gazing down at my feet.
He tucked a finger under my chin and tilted my head back so that I was forced to look up at him. Whatever that expression was, it was gone now.
He lowered his head, his eyes shifting between my lips and my eyes.
And then he kissed me, slowly, tortuously, eyes wide open. I knew this because my eyes were open as well. This felt like a challenge and I felt my body tremble at my own brazenness for taking him on. But then I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore because everything inside me just started to fall in line behind his command and all the challenge went out of me – nothing else mattered, not even my breathing.
He pulled back and I stood there, focusing on getting my body to remember that it needed to function in order to live. He pulled me into him and took my lower lip into his mouth and suckled on it – I moaned because I couldn’t scream like I wanted to. He let go and I released my breath, feeling the sting on my mouth, the flesh tender.
He brushed the pad of his thumb over my lower lip and I wondered if he’d drawn blood.
If I was going to die, now would be the appropriate time.
I would die a happy woman.
It felt so damn good.
But I shook off that unexplained feeling that had made me shiver before and returned my attention to this room we were now in. It was filled with suits and ties and shoes and shirts. He had several watches and cufflinks and bow ties and all manner of formal gear, which I found out as I moved further into the room.
Right at the back of the closet, was a door etched into the wall.
There was no handle on it but I knew that it led somewhere simply because it was not wood like the walls. It was metal and cold.
I pressed my palms to it, took in the big, uniform bolts that held the frame in place.
What made this even more interesting was the fact that there was a key pad that sat on the wall to the right side of the door. Clearly, there was a security system and it was armed.
I looked over my shoulder at him where he stood just where I’d left him.
“What’s behind this?” I asked, my voice halting in my throat.
He stood there, looking back at me with that dark, solid expression on his face. I held my breath and waited.
“I’ll show you one day… Maybe…”
He let out his hand and after a second’s reluctance, I walked over to him and took his hand. He led me out of the closet and closed the doors behind me before returning to the bed. I crawled to my original position and sat there, forcing myself not to turn and look back toward the closet.
I had to refocus.
I didn’t like what it was I was feeling.
“Do you have music on your phone?” I asked. “I’d like to hear some of that music in those unknown languages that you like so much.”
He smiled as he sat up and planted a kiss on my lips before lying back down again.
How did he switch between these moments like this?
What was behind that door?
“Uganda,” he said, pulling me back to the moment again. “Why don’t you have the accent or speak the language?”
“I was born and raised this side – North West,” I said. “My parents came here before I was born. They have the accent and they know the language but I have – nothing. This is home for me and funny enough, I have no interest in learning anything of the heritage.”
“Why?” he asked, frowning.
“I don’t know…” I said quietly. A little piece of me felt embarrassed by this notion, but not enough to get me off my seat and act on it. “Even in school, I had Afrikaans and Setswana in my school years and I didn’t really put the effort in. Then I passed Afrikaans in matric – imagine my shock. My parents never taught me anything about Uganda. I dunno… It just doesn’t interest me… Sure, the culture is beautiful and the colours and the food, but the language?”
“Not sexy enough for you?” he chuckled and I laughed.
I folded my legs under me, my thigh resting against his hip.
“That might be it.”
“Maybe I teach you Gaelic.”
I bit my lip, my interest piqued.
“Stop biting your lip! Why do you always do that? Damn…”
He said this as he jumped up and kissed me again, making me laugh even harder, blushing all over.
“What? It’s a nervous tick!” I exclaimed.
Of course I was.
That look he’d had on his face…!
“Shut the fuck up!”
“Keep that mouth of yours dirty, woman,” he said.
“I tell you what,” I said. “I’ll brush my teeth for fifty-nine seconds instead of one minute, how’s that?”
He smiled at me, that beautiful smile, his eyes twinkling.
“Your eyes are spectacular,” I said quietly.
“Thank you,” he said, just as quiet.
I tucked my arm under the leg closest to me and I leaned against him.
“What happened to you?” he asked. I frowned at him for this question.
“I found you on Facebook, read some of your work… It’s all so sad…”
I nodded my head slowly at this. There was no hard and fast answer to what he was asking because all of it was metaphorical and none of it ever really spoke directly to my truth.
“It’s a collection of everything everywhere… Old pain… New pain… Things…” I said.
“I’m sorry…” he said gently.
I took his hand and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “Don’t be. Life is hard all on its own.”
“So since you’ve passed, what happens now?”
“I have one more week of hours to cover, forty specifically. I think I can get it done in three days. Two straight twelve-hour shifts and one six-hour shift. And then maybe I go home.”
He was quiet.
“Or maybe not, I mean –”
“Not,” he said. “They’re your family, I get it, but no. They’ve known you for years, I’ve known you for months – I deserve you here!”
I burst out laughing at him, something swelling inside my chest at his words.
He wanted to spend more time with me!
I dropped a kiss on his knee.
“Do you need some convincing?” he asked. “Am I doing good so far?”
“Hmmmm…” I hummed.
Inexplicably, I turned my head to his knee and pretended to bite him.
“So,” he said. “You wanna bite me now?”
“You’re chocolate with a heartbeat.”
He reared up on his elbows. “Now there’s a new one.”
I looked at him and he looked at me.
“I wanna say something and I want you to be cool about it,” I said quietly.
“You’re so good at… I want to…” I paused. It all made sense in my head an hour ago, but getting it out now seemed completely stupid.
“Hey…” he said. “Just say it, it’s okay…”
I struggled in vain to keep myself from biting my lip. I ended up clenching my jaw to hold myself together.
“You’ve done… You’ve done it before…”
He knew what I was talking about and he did not pretend otherwise. “I have.”
“I’ve never –”
“I know,” he said.
I swallowed hard, feeling myself starting to get warm all over, my breathing becoming just a tad bit laboured.
“You’re – spectacular at it.”
He chuckled, leaning back down, tucking his arms behind his head. “Thank you.”
“What do I taste like?”
His eyes narrowed in his face and his lips parted slightly.
I was holding my breath, looking at him, wanting to kiss those lips.
His expression came back to life and he sat up.
“You know what’s interesting about this bed board? It’s continuous,” he said, leaning over the side of the bed. “It pretty much cradles the whole mattress. Come see.”
I leaned over him, gripping his shoulder for balance.
He was right. I’d never seen a bed board like this before.
He rolled onto his back and I sat beside him as he continued.
“It was plain steel before, but when I realized how cold it could get, we decided to line it with cushion and wood,” he said. “I think it was smart. Much softer, for leaning on when you’re reading and stuff like that.”
He sat up and planted a fleeting kiss on my lips.
And then it was dark suddenly.
I felt him move off the bed and then the drapes were pulled open, followed by the lace backdrop. The room was bathed in the silver glow of the moon and I watched as he walked across the room, looking larger than life.
“I’m gona take off my shirt, is that okay?”
I watched as he did so, hearing the material drop to the floor as he approached me.
He reached for my hand and I took his as he guided me off the bed.
“I still have my pants on – feel.”
This was true, even though I could see the facts of his words.
His voice had changed, dropped an octave. It was like warm honey all over my body.
“Now,” he said. “I want you to do something for me – this determines the direction this moment will go, okay?”
He tilted his head to the side, like he was thinking something over.
“Take off your panties.”
I tucked my thumbs into the waistband of the garment and tugged the thing down my legs. When I stepped out of them, he ducked down and took it from me and I gasped when he buried his nose in the material, inhaling deep.
“This is what you smell like.”
He handed it to me and in a daze, I did as he told me to.
He smiled at me, a bad, bad smile. Then he tucked the garment in his pocket.
“These are mine now,” he said. “Get on the bed…”
He followed me onto the bed and he stretched out right in the middle.
“Crawl toward me… That’s right. Thighs right here…”
He directed me toward him, guiding me so that I was on my knees – right over his face, the bed board in front of me.
My legs were trembling and I clenched my muscles to keep from dropping right onto his face.
“Hold onto the board… If you tell me to stop, I’ll stop. If you tell me to wait, I’ll wait. Understand?”
I swallowed hard.
The sound reached me before the feeling did – he’d spanked my bottom, hard.
My butt cheeks smarted with little pinpricks of heat as he did it again and again until I moaned.
“I love your ass,” he said. “Can I kiss it?”
I couldn’t help it when I threw my head back in laughter.
Again, he spanked me. Then he rubbed my butt cheeks with deep pressure and the moisture between my thighs began to build with it.
Again, he spanked me.
Still, I got wetter.
“You’re gona fuck my mouth this time,” he said. “Just ride it, nice and slow, you understand?”
“Yes…” I said, my voice hoarse.
He tucked his arms under my thighs, his hands just below my hips. He guided my thighs wider, lowering me over his face.
“Are you ready?”
He didn’t wait for a response.
I was on him so suddenly that I jerked, but he held me firm against his mouth, tucking his head right into my thighs and I wondered for a blazing second if he could even breathe. But I forgot everything about everything when his tongue began to work over me at rapid speed and sensations of pain and pleasure ripped through me like lightning and I cried out, gripping the bed board like my life depended on it.
He didn’t need to tell me what to do, I realized, as my hips began to move of their own accord and he worked his mouth to the motion, like a dance.
Something felt different this time, like he’d discovered another spot on my sex that he was playing with right now and it was too much and I felt like I was losing my mind as the crescendo built low in my belly.
I don’t know how it happened, but I lost my grip on the bed board and fell backward on top of him.
He did not let up.
He sat up slowly, maintaining his hold on me. My head dipped through his legs, landing on the bed with my legs hanging over his shoulders and down his back.
He rose above me like some kind of god, feasting on me like I was the spoils of a perfect kill. All I could see were his eyes, narrowed to slits, looking directly at me, burning me with the heat within.
I clenched my fists around whatever I could grab, my voice shredding my throat as cries of ecstasy tore their way up my body from my clit. I writhed violently, shaking my head this way and that, trying and failing to find my last foothold on reality.
There was only him and his mouth and my clit and this moment.
“Please! Please! Please!” I begged.
He groaned right into my body and his tongue found that spot again and I was done in from there.
My whole world exploded before my senses and all my muscles locked into place. He kept up his pace as one powerful orgasm after another washed over me.
I felt like an exposed nerve, being tapped repeatedly.
He dropped me into his lap and I felt my body settle on the bed as he hovered over me for a long moment, his weight falling deliciously over my body.
His mouth opened over mine, wet and warm and once again, I tasted myself with the essence of him. He kissed me to within an inch of my damn life, taking away what was left of the oxygen in my lungs before he let me up for air.
“Ohmigod… Ohmigod… Fuck…” I breathed.
He wrapped his arms around me and I burrowed into his hold with what energy I had left.