I made this post on New Year’s Eve, 2018.
I was in the spirit of the New Year’s Resolution and I decided that my goals would be centred around my Writing.
I had made it through another year in a profession that was both wrecking and building me.
I was just about entering the New Year, having cut ties with people who had lived in my Heart for a great many years.
It had become clear to me, that no matter how noble the Prayer, sometimes God’s Will and my Hopes were nowhere near alignment.
I had lost the team that I thought would be by my side when my dreams come true –
And as a result, the beauty of those dreams faded to nothing.
I was losing Faith and Confidence in the work I’d put into The Journals Of He and the Story was on the edge of collapse – I was deciding whether to let it go or keep pushing.
I was learning that even though I believed that my ability to spin these words was a Gift, sitting around wishing that people would take a chance and Read my work, wasn’t going to make it happen.
And so, I decided to return to my roots.
Nobody could see what I was seeing when I gazed into my own future and that was no fault of theirs. We all come into this World – I believe – with a purpose. We all have dreams about how we hope our lives will turn out one day, and so, I couldn’t fault them for not seeing my Words, as I see them.
We had to part ways for this to work.
I had to trust my gut with every choice that I made from that point on.
I had to remind myself what I was doing this for and I had to constantly remember to stand in that truth.
I had to be brave enough to remove myself from my immediate sphere of critiques – family and friends – and venture out into the world.
A month later, @JaneAuthor was born.
I kept telling myself over the years that the reason that I had stuck with Nursing was because I needed to build the capital I needed to kick-start my Writing career.
I’d been at it for a little under a decade and time was passing me by.
Surely, it was time for me to walk into my destiny.
So I put it out there.
I didn’t ask the usual people to do the usual things. What more could they tell me about my Words?
I realized that I could no longer live in the safety of hearing praises sung to me by the people who would always stand by me, no matter how poorly I performed.
And from that, @TheJournalsOfHe was relaunched.
I stepped out of my shell, beyond the boundaries of the Story itself, trusting that it would have its own voice, just like my Poetry has had.
I was deliberate with every choice I made.
What to share. When to share it and how often and how much to share.
The Words, the tone, the breaks and pauses and full on stops –
And all of it led me to this point.
I had resolved to put in as much work into my passions as I do into my obligations.