The streets were empty and the roads were safe and I was back at my place in under half an hour. But as I stood at the bottom of the stairwell, gazing up at the highest ceiling, I wanted to kick myself for not staying the night at Dom’s. In fact, I was sure that we would have been able to ignore each other’s existence good and easy had I known that the lifts would not be working at my place.
I cussed at myself as I began the long trek up to my room, clinging to my dress to keep from stepping on it. Twelve minutes later, panting and shaking, I entered my room. I had missed two calls from him.
He called again and I sat on my bed, answering the call.
“Sorry… I just got in…” I said between breaths.
He said nothing.
“I’m here,” he said. “Just imagining things I shouldn’t be imagining, listening to you breathe like that.”
I laughed at this. “What’s there to imagine?” I said seductively. “I’m pretty sure you’ve heard me breathe like this before…”
He groaned into the phone and I bit my lip, trying not to laugh.
“Hold on a second.”
I put the phone on the fridge without waiting for a response and hustled out of my sandals before taking off the dress and jewellery. I was just about to enter my bed when I realized that I hadn’t locked the door.
When this was done, I snuggled down in my bed and picked up the phone again.
“You just took the dress off, didn’t you?” he asked.
“Why yes, yes I did,” I said.
He groaned again. “Yup,” he said. “You were right to head on out of here.”
I laughed in delight.
“It’s not like you’ve never seen me before…”
He breathed deep. “I haven’t seen you in a while…”
That was true. In the beginning, I couldn’t get enough of him tasting me and he had absolutely no hesitation about offering his services. But then life had gotten so real that those moments started to draw guilt from me and I suspected maybe even from him.
Was it because I wanted even more from him?
Was it because I realized how much I was taking from him?
Or maybe it was because my desire to keep my vow was just growing ever more insistent inside of me.
“I would have seen you tonight,” he said. “That’s the second thing I thought when I saw you standing there.”
“Yeah…” he said. “In the back of the limo. There was enough space and the driver would have gone around the block a couple of times if I’d asked him to…”
“A couple… Of times…” I breathed, closing my eyes as I recalled the first time I experienced an orgasm twice in a row because of him.
“I could do that… I want to do that… Then wake up to you and do it again –”
He laughed and I laughed too.
“Where was Donovan tonight?”
“Studying,” said Dom, sounding exasperated. “He never does these things.”
“Maybe we could be good friends,” I joked.
“Was it too much for you?”
I shook my head. “No,” I told him truthfully. “I felt – like a princess.”
“You looked like a goddess.”
I giggled, shy suddenly.
“I am almost inclined to buy you tons of dresses like that, just so you can dress up for me.”
“Aaaah,” I breathed. “See, I would allow that, if you would let me reciprocate in kind.”
“You’d buy me tons of dresses –”
We both laughed at that.
We talked some more about the night as the warmth of my bed seeped slowly into my bones. He explained to me how this charity event was actually his mother’s baby and I thought how my mother would have loved being there since paeds was her thing.
“Yes,” he said. “That’s what I was thinking. By the time I realized what could have been done, it was pretty much too late.”
“They wouldn’t have made it anyway,” I told him. “My parents are so committed to their jobs that they would need the whole week off even to attend a simple party, especially one this far out.”
“I understand,” he said. “That was how my mother was when she was still practicing.”
“What does she do now? Is she also part of the company?”
“No,” he said. “She volunteers a lot, mostly in orphanages, raising funds – she’s a philanthropist.”
I smiled. “That’s very generous of her. But I suppose when you have a passion for something, it leads you to do extraordinary things.”
“Yes,” he said. “And you should pursue your writing, Dilia.”
That came flying out of nowhere.
“Your poetry is beautiful.”
I smiled. “Thank you…”
“Let me know if I can help in any way,” he said.
“I just need to get my community service out of the way.”
“Makes sense,” he said. “So that’s a year to make some plans.”
He was quiet for a moment.
“I love how your voice gets low like that when you’re sleepy…” he said, his own voice dropping an octave.
I laughed, lazy, closing my eyes.
“Say something to me…”
“What?” I chuckled.
“Anything,” he said, a smile in his voice. “A very long sentence, I just want to hear you.”
I smiled, thinking of nothing, saying the first thing that touched my lips.
“I’ve been wondering for some time now… If it’s okay to love you like I love you and to feel you like I feel you…” I said. “…and still say that I have God in my heart. But then I realize that this body will always respond to you the way that it does because – I am attracted to you just like it is attracted to you… And I know that even if you weren’t so damn sexy –”
He laughed at this.
“– and you had that heart and that – that mind that you have, I would still be drawn to you. I would still love you.”
“I… I don’t know…” I breathed, my eyes heavy even though they were closed. “I love you because I love you. There is no why… I just do.”
I sighed, content.
“I love you, Dilia…”
Maybe if I had been a little more alert, I would have felt the urgency in his voice.
But he loved me and I didn’t think anything else mattered.
“I love you…”
And I was out.