DID I BREAK HIS HEART?
“Don’t tell him you saw me, please.”
“Too late for that.”
My eyes snapped shut and I felt like I had been hit by a freight train. My back stiffened and I stood there, trying to catch my breath as pain ripped through me in dizzying waves.
I miss him.
I can’t speak his name without
wanting to die crying.
I’ve heard stories about the broken heart.
I’ve read poems about it.
But I’ve never experienced loss like I did that night.
It’s been months since he last called me – months since I last ignored his calls and I wonder if that was the last time that his number will ever flash across my screen.
The fear blinds me everyday. Sometimes, it’s all that I think about. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this feeling – it’s like I lost my ability to breathe.
Was it a mistake?
Did I make a big fucking mistake?
Have I just ruined –